It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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