I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
