Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
PANTIES FOUND
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
