im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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