My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
