I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
