He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just invented taco cereal.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
