umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
