so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
