We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
