just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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