she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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