I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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