Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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