Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
