Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
