Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Green mimosas i think yes
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
