Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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