I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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