at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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