so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
