Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
