11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
