just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I supernannyed him into submission
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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