Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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