well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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