I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
