You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
