I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
