there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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