umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
