one might say we're banned from that church
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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