There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
