R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
