I need help removing her.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
