Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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