Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
