Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
