I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
