if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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