i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
