you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Randomize
