Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
