he wants to bone in the snuggie
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
