well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
