at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
