# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
