My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
