Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
