Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
