i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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