he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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