didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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