the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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